My Immortal
by Meluineth
Summary: Bilbo Baggins was finally home. Back in the Shire with his warm and comforting hobbit hole. It was funny though, it didn't feel like home to him anymore. Bilbo felt cold and hollow, like something (or in this case someone) had stolen his heart, after all home is where the heart is, and Bilbo's heart had been stolen by the nephews of Thorin Okenshield. Kili/Bilbo/Fili
1. Chapter 1

**AN: So this is my first Hobbit fanfic, so be sure to tell me how i did! (Sorry in advance for any errors)**

** This is in a timeline where Thorin Fili and Kili dont die, but are still wounded badly after the BOTFA.**

_**NAMED AFTER AND INSPIRED BY THE SONG: My Immortal by Evanescene**_

**ENJOY!**

* * *

Bilbo Baggins was finally home. Back in the Shire with his warm and comforting hobbit hole. It was funny though, it didn't feel like home to him anymore. Bilbo felt cold and hollow, like something (or in this case some_one_) had stolen his heart, after all home _is _where the heart is, and Bilbo's heart had been stolen by the nephews of Thorin Okenshield. Bilbo smiled fondly as memories of his Fili and Kili play in his mind. Yes _his_. His because he saw a different side to the one the rest of the company was used too, the side that was always smiling and laughing. He saw the side that was worried, tender and extremely protective over their hobbit. Tears well in the halflings eyes as memories from The Battle of the Five Armies begin to play. Repeating the scene that very nearly took his two lovers away from him.

Bilbo sprints the last few steps two his green door. Wrenching it open and then slamming it closed again, Bilbo collapses on the floor in a fit of sobs. Why can't he just leave them behind?! Why must his memory constantly trick him into thinking they're right in front of him?! It had been two and a half weeks since he set-more like thrown- out from Erebor and back to the Shire, so why did it still hurt so much? He clutches the small metal bead that hung from his neck, given to him by them as a token of their intentions to court him. It was originally made to be weaved into a dwarfs hair, but as Bilbo's hair was a little too short, Fili and Kili had put it on an exquisitely hand crafted chain. The hobbit remembers the time when they had found him in a similar situation in the forest… Him on the floor while experiencing unimaginable pain.

* * *

_"Bilbo?" Came a soft, yet familiar voice. It appeared directly behind him, causing the Halfling to jump and crawl away slightly._

_"Bilbo what has happened?" Came a second voice. This one was slightly deeper than the first, but it was equally familiar. These were the voices that came to him in his dreams._

_"Nothing." Bilbo replied, looking down at his twisted and swollen ankle._

_Two figures bend down and sit next to him. One looks at his feet, checking them gently, while the other questions the hobbit some more._

_"What happened?"_

_"Well… I heard noises coming from the woods and I panicked. I tripped over a fallen branch and twisted my ankle." Bilbo finally looks up and sees Fili and Kili sat in front of him. They share a look and they take both of his hands._

_"You've been avoiding us Master Baggins." Kili starts._

_"Every time we approach you mumble an inaudible excuse and scurry off." Fili continues._

_"We want to know why. Have we offended you in some way? Do you just dislike our company? Tell us and we shall leave you be." Kili finishes._

_Bilbo wished he could tell them how he felt, but the fear of rejection was too much for him, so he tried to subtly change the conversation. "Why do you care so much?"_

_"We care for you."_

_"Dwarfs only ever love one person. That person is you Bilbo, for both Fili and myself."_

_"We have been discussing it for a great deal of time now…" Fili holds out a metal bead on a chain to him._

_"We would like permission to court you Bilbo Baggins."_

_Bilbo swallows the lump in his throat and blinks back the tears in his eyes._

_"Oh god yes." He replies in a rush._

_The twins grin and they fasten the bead around his neck, tucking it underneath his shirt. They stand up, then with hardly any effort, help Bilbo stand and help him hobble back to the camp._

_"Where have you three been?" Thorin asked coldly when he saw them all together._

_"We though Mr. Baggins was lost in the woods Uncle." Fili replies as he helps Kili but Bilbo on his bedroll._

_"It turns out he twisted his ankle and was stuck." Kili finishes._

_"Since you've taken such a liking to the burglar, you two will be responsible for making sure he keeps up. I will not slow down because he can't even watch his own feet."_

_Fili and Kili nod silently and unroll their bedrolls on either side of Bilbo, and for the first time since starting this journey, Bilbo went to sleep without a single fear or worry._

* * *

Bilbo takes several deep breaths before standing up again. He walks to his study and drops his rucksack on the floor with a thud. He gently runs his fingers along the smooth polished wood that has collected a thin layer of duct while he was away. He suddenly bends down and takes out two drawings of Fili and Kili Ori had made for him before he left the Lonely Mountain. He looks at them and smiles softly. This was the only way he would ever see them again seeing as Thorin banished him from Erebor. His hands scrunch in anger as he begins to pace his study. It wasn't his fault Fili and Kili was protecting the fatially wounded Thorin, and by doing so, becoming fatally wounded themselves. Bofur had stopped him from running out to help them. Bofur knew what Bilbo meant to the twins, and had promised to protect them if ever they couldn't.

After the battle, Bilbo had stayed by their bedsides for the duration of their recovery. In that time Fili's heart had stopped beating twice (Luckily though he recovered both times) and Bilbo had cried more times than he'd care to admit.

* * *

_ Bilbo was reading to Fili and Kili. It was the first time since the battle they had been able to stay awake for longer than five minutes. Both dwarfs were happy and smiling, they loved hearing Bilbo's voice, and Bilbo loved the way they resonated light. Light which always seemed to pull him towards them, no matter how dark the shadows are that are holding him. Bilbo looked up from his book and smiled softly. Fili and Kili were both sleeping peacefully. Bilbo gently places his book on the bedside table and walks out of the room they were staying in while they were recovering. Walking down a dimly lit corridor, Bilbo was suddenly thrown up against the cold stone wall. He let out a yelp of pain, but was quickly silenced by a large hand covering his mouth. He struggles and glares up at his assailant. His eyes connect with blue and his blood ran cold. His assailant was Thorin Okenshield, King Under the Mountain._

_"You've outstayed your welcome burglar." Thorin snarls at him. "I have only allowed you to stay while my nephews were recovering. You shall receive your fourteenth of the gold and then I want you gone. Never to return nor ever to see my nephews again."_

_Bilbo makes a noise of protest, but Thorin tightens his hold over his mouth and leans in close. "I AM KING UNDER THIS MOUNTAIN! If you do not do as I suggest, you shall be killed and nobody will even know!"_

_Bilbo silently nods, his heart filled with fear as tears shine in his eyes. Thorin removes his hand._

_"You must allow me to see them before I go though."_

_Thorin nods, "I want you gone by sunset Halfling." With that Thorin turns away with a flourish of his fur lined coast and walks back down the corridor and out of sight._

_Bilbo rest his hands on his knees and struggles to maintain his breathing. After getting it under control and opens his eyes as his wave of dizziness finally disappears. Mechanically he walks to his room and begins packing. Once finished he picks up his walking pole and silently makes his way to Fili and Kili's room. He kisses them both on the forehead gently, covering his mouth with his hand to muffle his ragged breathing and choked sobs. Bilbo all but runs from their room, rushing past the shadows were Bofur was hiding, and where he saw what Thorin had done._

_Bilbo arrives at the stables and sees that a pony has already been saddled for him, with a few bags on her back full of food and surplies he would need to get back to Bag End… including the gold. He climbs up onto the horse's saddle and gently kicks her flanks. She walks on slowly. Bilbo pauses in Lake Town briefly to give the men a little of his gold to help rebuild the town. He also looks back at the Mountain. The sun was setting behind it, and Bilbo could distantly make out the figure of a dwarf on a balcony… Probably Thorin making sure he was gone. Bilbo continues riding through the night. He hopes that by the time he gets back to his home the pain will be more bearable… but he should have guessed it wouldn't have been that easy. There was just too much that time could not erase._

* * *

Opening his eyes again, Bilbo quickly leaves his study. He walks down dim and familiar corridor's and goes directly to his bedroom. Not even bothering to change, he climbs under the sheets and closes his eyes. Hoping that sleep will bring him a few hours of blissful sleep, but he should have known better by now;

His dream started out perfect. He was walking in the woods with the sun shining brightly down through the trees as a soft breeze plays with his hair. He hears a twig snap and panic and fear grip his rapidly pounding heart. Two dwarfs emerge from the treeline in front of him, and he breathes a sigh of relief upon seeing Fili and Kili. He smiles, but that smile fades when he sees the look on their faces.

"You left us." Kili says unemotionally.

Bilbo frowns and quickly tries to explain, "No. No Kili Tho-"

"We don't want your excuses burglar."Fili cuts in, "It doesn't matter what our Uncle did, you could have slipped on that ring of yours and become invisible. You could have stayed with us."

"He would have killed me!"

"HE COULD HAVE TRIED!" Kili yells back, tears filling in his beautiful eyes. They turn their backs on Bilbo and walk back into the forest, taking all the light with them. Bilbo stumbles after them, trying to catch up.

"No please wait!"

Bilbo woke screaming and sweaty, his breath rages and his eyes frantic. It was now a year since Erebor, and he was still plagued by the same dream, night after night. Bilbo struggled to get out of bed. He hadn't had much of an appetite since he was back, only eating a little here and there, so he was slowly wasting away. Every morning he would wake screaming, then he would wash, change and sit in his armchair until late at night (only on rare occasions getting up to go to the toilet or have something to eat or drink), when he would have another wash, change into his night clothes, have the same dream and the cycle would repeat itself. It was on one of these rare occasions Bilbo would eat, when there came a loud impatient knock on his door. Bilbo stayed silent and ignored it, in the hopes the person would go away and leave him alone… But to no avail. The knocking just became more frantic and loud.

"Alright, alright I'm coming!" Bilbo yelled as he made his way to the door. He unlocks the deadbolt and opens it slowly.

"Bilbo…"

"Oh Bilbo, what have you done to yourself?"

Bilbo blinks back the sunlight, not believing his ears. There in his doorway, was Fili and Kili.

"No… No it can't be them?" Bilbo mutters to himself, "They are far away from me…"

A large hand reaches for his face and gently forces him to look at them. Two kisses were planted on his forehead as he was pulled into strong comforting arms.

"Bofur saw what Thorin did, and told us when he was out on diplomatic duties. He told us he had never seen such a broken look in all his life, and feared for your health… We only packed our clothes and rode for three days." Kili says.

"No matter what our Uncle says, or threatens you with, we will never leave you again. Even if it means they have to pry our dead bodies away from you." Fili finishes sombrely.

A chocked sob escapes the hobbits mouth and he clings to both dwarfs like his life depended on it. Fili and Kili were here… they were home, and Bilbo was complete once again.

* * *

**A/N: Soooo what did you think?**

**If you didn't get the story here's a little summery:**

**Fili and Kili make there emotions clear to Bilbo early on in the journy.**

**Thorin, Fili and Kili had been wounded badly in TBOTFA, and they were recovering in Erebor.**

**Thoring recovers first, and because Bilbo basically betrayed him, banishes him when Fili and Kili are definetly going to be ok.**

**Bofur saw how Thorin threatened Bilbo, and told Fili and Kili while Thorin was away.**

**Fili and Kili had been lead to believe that Bilbo left them because he had never cared about them in the first place.**

**Hop that helps a little. If you have any questions or requests, dont be shy to ask!**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: So this was originally intended as a one shot, but I came up with this. I have an idea for a third chapter, but I think I may just leave it at two... what do you guys think? (Sorry it's taked so long to update!)**

**Btw, this chapter is dedicated to _Netiri Vi Britann,_ as she is the one who asked for a second chapter... hope you enjoy!**

* * *

Two sapphire eyes look up as the door to their owner's bed chambers open softly.

"Balin, what brings you here so late into the night?"

The older dwarf bowed to his king before responding, "This just came. Everybody else in the company has received one as well…"

The dwarf king stood from his chair, and took the envelope his most trusted advisor held out to him. Breaking the seal, the king reads each word carefully, his heart tightening painfully at the words:

**You **

Thorin Oakenshield

**Are formally invited to the wedding of**

Fili and Kili, sons of Dis

**And their chosen consort**

Bilbo Baggins

**They shall be wed on**

Durin's Day as the last light shines

**In **

The Halls of King Thranduil of Mirkwood

**Reply by**

The Full Moon next week

**Reply letters should be sent to**

Bag End

Bag Shot Row

The Shire

Hobbiton

**Yours faithfully**

Fili and Kili, Sons of Dis

**And**

Bilbo Baggins

This was only the first letter, and Thorin scowled at the place where they shall be wed. The second letter is from Fili and Kili, asking if he would be their best man (as King Thranduil would be performing the ceremony), practically begging him to come and to write back to them, and reminding him they were staying with Bilbo. Thorin growls low in his throat. How dare that prissy elf king wed his nephews!

"They miss you Thorin." Balin states quietly, "They have sent letters to you for the past two years since they left… Their most recent one asked if you would perform the ceremony, but you obviously didn't reply to them… Surly you cannot still be angry?"

"They stole the heart of my burglar. I have every right to not reply or- or to be angry with them!" Thorin replies stubbornly.

"Well what did you expect Mr. Baggins to do?!" Balin asks, becoming angry and frustrated at his kings stubbornness, "For half the journey you constantly told him how much of a burden he was, and _then _you dangled him by his throat off this mountain and threatened to let him drop! And let's not forget how you banished him so _they_ could never see each-other again. You had already lost Bilbo to the boys before you could admit your feelings for him… He was never _yours_ in the first place!"

Thorin sighs, rubbing his forehead as he hung his head in shame, "I know… I deeply regret how I acted…"

Balins eyes softened and he replied in a softer tone, "Then go to this wedding. Show them you still care. Fili and Kili will forgive you in a heartbeat, they just want their uncle back. I also strongly believe that Master Baggins would like is friend back if his letters are anything to go by."

Thorin's eyes flash up, "He sends you letters? Why didn't you tell me?" 'Why haven't I gotten any?' went unspoken.

"He did send you one, when Fili and Kili first turned up at his doorstep, but you locked it away and never replied so he stopped trying after a couple of weeks thinking he was upsetting you."

Thorin nods his thanks, and Balin quickly leaves his kings chambers. Thorin sits in front of his desk and picks up his quill. He begins writing three letters; One to Fili, Kili and one to Bilbo. Once happy, he puts them with the rest of the company's letters ready to be sent to Bag End.

**ooOoo**

One week later, Thorin receives letters back… But he's only really interested in one for the moment.

_'Thorin,_

_It does my heart good to finally hear from you. I worried that I destroyed the friendship we once had, and if I had, I would never be able to forgive myself. In terms of your apology, you needn't have bothered. I was never angry or upset with you in the first place. Frightened, maybe… but never angry._

_I know it will bother you about Mirkwood and Thranduil, but he, his son and their Captain of the Guard were quite insistent we held everything there and allowed them to plan the wedding. Don't worry though, we made it quite clear that is was to be a mix of Hobbit and dwarven themed wedding traditions… We would have held it in Erebor but you never replied, perhaps you didn't get the letter?..._

_Just as a heads up, Fili and Kili will probably jump on you or hug you to death when they see you again so wear something thick…_

_Yours Faithfully, _

_Bilbo Baggins'_

Thorin put the letter down with a heavy heart and a deep frown. Thorin found out that after the… incident Bilbo had stayed with the elf king and his son for a time, before travelling back with Gandalf, so his wounds could heal, but he wasn't how wear of just how friendly the hobbit and the elves became. Kili would be happy though, he would be able to see that she-elf again, and though he might not say it, Fili would like talking to Legolas. The king hated the thought of his nephews marring in the tree shaggers palace, but if it made them happy, Thorin would be there… he couldn't lose them again. With his kingly duties calling, Thorinn set aside his nephew letters so he could read and reply to them later.

**ooOoo**

Days past in what seemed like a blur for the company, everybody waiting (excititedly) for the day they would leave Erebor and go to Mirkwook. Much to the amazement of the dwarfs who saw them… after all, why would any dwarf in his right mind be excited about going to an Elvin palace? When the day finally came, the company could hardly contain their excitement… most of them anyway.

"Do you think Master Baggins will remember me?"

"Of course he will Ori… Hold on a second lad, you have something on your chin….."

"Dori! Can you stop mothering him for one moment?!"

"Your one to talk! And I don't want any trouble or I'll have your head Nori!"

"Hey… Bombur? Is my hat ok?"

"It's fine brother! Stop asking me every five minutes!"

"….. Bifur?"

"He's not here just yet Bofur!"

"Oh, do you know where he is Oin?"

"What?"

"DO YOU KNOW WHERE HE IS?!"

"Still in his room I think lad."

"I'll go and get him brother, he's finishing off his present I think…"

"It's a shame… Gimli would have loved to meet Bilbo."

"I'm sure the poor lad wouldn't like to be hassled all day on his wedding."

"Dwalin, Bilbo has proved he is more than capable of handling himself."

"I know brother, but handling an over excited dwarfling? He has no chance. Babysitting Fili and Kili with Thorin was harder than taking down a pack of wargs!"

Thorin watched and listened to the numerous conversations with an amused smirk. Bifur finally arrived with Bombur, and the company made their way down to the stables where their ponies had already been prepared for them. With Thorin leading with Dwalin at his right hand side, they began their journey down the mountain and through the newly rebuilt Dale. It was still early in the morning, so the dwarfs seldom passed anybody. They stopped briefly at an inn to get something quick to eat, and Thorin's keen eyes couldn't help but notice how much Bofur was fidgeting.

As if reading the kings mind Balin said softly, "Bilbo asked him to be his best man. Bilbo once told me that to hobbits, only the closest family members were best men, so Bilbo is basically calling Bofur family."

Thorin nod in understanding, he knew how Bofur felt (to a degree)… Thorin was just better at hiding it.

o**oOoo**

Once they had paid the inn keeper, the company were moving once again until they finally came to the gates leading out of Dale, and they saw some familiar faces.

"Bard." Thorin greets the bow-man with a small nod, doing the same for the bow-man's children.

"Thorin." Bard replied with a small smile. "I hope you not planning on dragging any more 'respectable hobbits' out of their door and on an adventure are you?"

Thorin chuckled softly, "No, we're actually on our way to watch this 'respectable hobbit' get married to my two young hooligans of nephews."

Bard's smile widens, "Mind if we join you then?"

"Not at all."

With that said, the dwarfs, Bard and his children begin the journey to Mirkwood to watch Bilbo start his greatest adventure yet.


End file.
